D-Day

He was there when we weren’t looking. Two months old!!

The first day we babysat Dallas!!

That’s how old this little guy was when he came into our lives.  We thought I would be taking care of him for only a few weeks and here we are almost three years later. He’s gone through so much. His mom “said” she wanted him back about a year and a half ago. Those were the hardest six months ever. I didn’t know if we would even see him again. When he came home with his grandma, we were the first place they came!!  What a wonderful surprise!!

         Dallas at 2                              A few days before his 3rd bday                         Another at 2

 Since that time over a year ago, we have gotten the privilege of taking care of Dallas on the weekends and a few times for a whole week at a time.

About six months after Dallas came back home to his grandma, one of the times she came to pick him up, she asked me if we would be his guardian if anything should happen to her. We were honored and glad Dallas would get to stay in our lives. A few months after that conversation, she must have been doing some thinking because she asked how we would feel about actually adopting him!! She loves him for sure, but she knows that she has to work quite a bit and staying with her would mean him being raised in daycare, which isn’t at all terrible, just not what she wants for him. She sees how excited he is coming over to our house and how far he’s come in being more social.  She explained that she still wants to be his grandma!! She just wants to be the traditional grandma. Where he goes to visit for the weekend or she comes over to babysit every now and then, but we raise him. And he would be our son!!

In a month the court date is set for his mother’s rights to be permanently terminated.  We, all of us including Dallas’ grandma, have no idea how to proceed, but I know that if it’s Gods will for Dallas to be a Hall boy then He will guide us!! I’m sure it won’t be easy, but it will be so worth it!!

Please pray:
- the termination hearing goes smoothly
- we can get an idea of how to proceed with the next steps to bringing Dallas home, if it’s Gods will.
- if it’s not the Lord’s will, that He would clearly close the doors and give a peace about it.

We are so excited about the next chapter of our story and for 2018!!

❤️ Rachel

Healing

“Time heals all wounds.”, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”, “It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.”. These are just a few of the cliché phrases most of us have heard at some point in our life. Matthew and I have heard quite a few over the past few months. We both are grieving in our own way. I feel as though I had time during Claudia’s pregnancy to prepare for her possibly passing away. I hoped and prayed, but knew the possible outcomes. Each time we got the news of her condition being worse I feel as though I mourned her a little more. By labor, when we found out she had no heartbeat, I think that was my final mourning.

Matthew, on the other hand, hoped and prayed from the moment we found out of Claudia’s conditions. I also feel as though he was kind of in denial about all of the problems. After she was born having already passed away, he struggled with frustration and bitterness. We both struggled together because of it. One of the clichés we got so tired of hearing was, “She was so special that God wanted her all to Himself”. Really? We know everyone meant well, but hearing things to that effect often was quite wearisome. 

We are moving through. Looking back, much of this last year is a blur. It feels like it never happened. I think of it as God’s grace to us. Right now, we are in the same place we were a year ago. We have three boys one of whom I’m teaching and the other being in school. The only difference is I have a bit of post baby weight to lose-that isn’t budging!! Yes, God’s grace is sufficient for sure! 

We got asked-the day after we came home from Phoenix and two days after Claudia was born, if we were going to have another baby!! Yep! We were still in shock, I was physically recovering, and that was one of the first questions we get asked! We also got asked several times after! In answer, now that it’s several months later, we are trusting God for our family and that includes any other blessing He chooses for us. We do have an exciting prayer for a possible new member to our family.  Tune in to a future post on D-Day!!

❤️❤️

Rachel

Birth Story Volume 4!! Claudia Joy

~~💝💝Claudia's Birth Story💝💝~~

Tuesday, July 25, my family was down in Phoenix waiting for my arrival. They were staying at a hotel, not too far from the hospital. My Grammy, Papa, Auntie, Uncle, and cousins all came down to see my family. We ate lunch together and went to a mall to walk around. My Auntie wanted to entice me to come by making Mommy walk all around the mall. Well, it didn't work, but Mommy had really strong contractions that didn't stop until she rested. After walking around the mall a bit my Auntie, Uncle, Papa, and cousins went back to my house in Kingman. My Grammy stayed with my family. We had one yummy supper at Claim Jumper and then my brothers went swimming for several hours. Mommy and Grammy rested a bit.

The next day, we went to Del Taco, my big brother Titus' favorite place. After lunch, we went back to the mall so Mommy could get a pedicure. She likes those when she has a baby in her tummy. When we got to the nail place, Mommy put her name in and we were going to go to a fun play area so my big brothers could play while we waited. They had fun playing, but Mommy wasn't feeling the best. She wasn't sure if I was coming or not so she started timing contractions. It was about 3:20pm. Mommy noticed they were between 4 and 5 minutes apart and lasted 45 seconds. Because my big brother came very quickly, she wanted to make sure we made it so she told Daddy she wanted to go to the hospital. So we all left and Mommy texted our good friends' Mommy to come and get my brothers. We went back to the hotel to get the hospital bag and Titus' medical things and off we went to the hospital. When we got to the hospital, Daddy dropped Mommy, Grammy, and me off and went to park the van and wait for Megan to pick up my brothers. Mommy got checked in and was taken to a room. Grammy waited for Daddy to come back.

Mommy was having contractions all the while. The nurse came in to get Mommy checked out. She checked her weight, blood pressure, and my heartbeat. She was having a hard time finding my heartbeat so she had another nurse come in to try. She couldn't find it either so they call a nurse to come with an ultrasound machine. The nurse called the doctor in. That's when the doctor told Mommy that I didn't have a heartbeat. Mommy and Daddy were so sad. But Mommy was still having contractions. Mommy wasn't even in the birthing room yet. It took almost an hour for our room to be ready. Finally mommy was able to walk to her room. It was a big room. Once she was settled, the doctor came and talked about how Mommy wanted me to be born. Mommy wanted me to come just like my two older brothers were born at home. The doctor was concerned about Mommy losing too much blood after I was born because I had so much water and swimming space so Mommy agreed to an IV lock. Like an outlet for an IV to go if needed. Mommy had contractions that were close together. She wasn't timing them anymore but they seemed to be every 1.5-2 minutes apart. Mommy notices that the contractions during my labor are similar to Mommy's labor with my big brother Solomon.

The doctor came in to check on Mommy and asked if she wanted Mommy to break her bag of water at all. Mommy gave her a time of 9:30 if I wasn't born by then. It was about 7:30 at the time. About 9:15 or so Mommy felt different. She started feeling like she needed to push, but couldn't. When the doctor came back in she told that to her and the doctor offered to break her bag of amniotic sac. Mommy agreed. She told the doctor she felt the sac being intact was keeping her from pushing me out. So the doctor broke my sac. It was very tough. It took her three tries. Mommy had a lot of fluid!! When I was born it was almost triple the highest level it should be!! When the doctor broke my water only about one quarter of the fluid came out. Mommy felt her tummy and was surprised at that. She thought I would come right out!! The doctor told Mommy she would come back in 45 minutes or so to check on her. Mommy told the nurse that she was in transition for me to be born. She was cold and her legs were shaking. She knew what that meant. She told the nurse so she left to get Mommy a warm blanket. While she was gone I was ready to come. Mommy had a strong contraction so she screamed in pain. The doctor heard me and told me she would check on me. As she was coming in, Mommy yelled, "she's coming!!! She's coming!!" The doctor knocked everything off the wall grabbing gloves just as I came out. I was born into the bed and after me came all the rest of the extra fluid!! The doctor said it was like a wall of water and she'd never seen it before!! It took quite a while to clean and dry everything off. Daddy got to cut the umbilical cord, which the doctor said was wrapped around my neck twice tightly. My mommy and daddy think that is why I didn't make it.

Finally Mommy got to hold me!! She was so happy and sad all at the same time. I had a head full of dark hair!! Mommy loved that!! My skin was so thin that anything more than a super gentle touch made it tear. My skin even tore from just being born!! I came at 9:41 on July 26, 2017.

Mommy held me for a while, then gave me to Daddy while the doctor worked on getting my placenta to come. Because all my brothers came really close to their due dates, and I came early, my placenta wasn't ready to come yet. The doctor was concerned that because Mommy was so big with fluid, that she could hemorrhage so she agreed to get some medicine called Pitocin to help my placenta come and help keep me from bleeding too much. After a half an hour, my placenta still didn't come so the doctor had to go and get it. It hurt Mommy so much. Much more than me being born. It took several tries before she got it. Mommy's tummy hurt really bad for a while after.

Guess who was waiting to see me while Mommy was being taken care of by the doctor?? My big brothers!! If I wasn't already dancing around in heaven, I would have loved to see them and smile at them too!! My brother Solomon was kind of shy to see me. He's the littlest and all this crazy stuff going on was hard and he missed being at home and with Mommy. Josiah and Titus were very excited. They got right up on Mommy's bed ready to hold me. Mommy gave me to Josiah first. He was very gentle and held me very close. Titus had some help from Mommy holding me. He liked beeping my nose and putting his finger in my mouth. I got a kiss on my head from both of them!! Soon Solomon got a little less scared and sat next to Mommy while she held me. I even got a kiss out of him too!! Miss Megan was so kind to bring my brothers to see me. She took them back to her house for a sleepover soon after. She was so brave, she even gave Titus his medicine!! 💉💉

Soon the nurse took me out for a bit to get my picture taken, my height and weight, as well as a hand and foot imprint. That made my super tender thin skin tear all over. That made Mommy sad.😢😢 I was 14 inches long and 2lbs 4oz. Mommy fell asleep while I was gone. Daddy was awake when the nurse brought me back and held me a while longer.

Mommy got woken up really early, at 5:00 in the morning!! The nurse said we had to move to another room. So Mommy, even though she was very sleepy, was wheeled to a very small room. She stayed there and rested more until she was ready to go about 12:30pm.

Mommy is very sad that I can't be with them, but so happy I'm in heaven waiting for her!! Mommy didn't want to have to make any hard decisions regarding my care and God helped her by making the choice for her. She wanted me to share my birth story so she would remember all the details as well as be able to share with my brothers when they get older. Mommy and Daddy are so thankful for everyone that prayed for me and for them. 💝💝
https://www.youcaring.com/matthewandrachelhall-844098

An Unexpected Turn

Here we are, at yet another branch in our journey. We found out that we are expecting yet again!! My tentative due date is August 16th. I came into this pregnancy not really very excited about it. I don't know if it's my age, the really strong first trimester ailments or what, but knowing there would be 9 months of not feeling like myself on top of more weight gain to lose, I was dreading it. The first trimester was very rough-and it lasted almost the first half of the pregnancy. I was very nauseous as well as extremely tired which made me very moody!!  Everyone just chalked it up to having three boys to "chase around", but I really don't see much of a difference between two and three-especially when your #2 is Titus!!

We found out early with Solomon that he was a boy and decided to go back to Miracle in Progress to find out this time as well. What a surprise we got when those words came up on the screen IT'S A GIRL!! We were overjoyed and overwhelmed at the same time. Matthew didn't think it was possible!!   We already selected a name, but didn't plan on sharing until she was born. 

We excitedly awaited each midwife appointment and wondered how close she would come to her due date. Her brothers were pretty spot on so we guessed she would be too. We were planning this time around getting the full ultrasound mainly because I will be 39 when she's born. We planned on going in on the same day as my appointment with our midwife at 17 weeks. The tech was all business but did confirm our knowing she's a girl. She measured small-11 days, and he couldn't see what he needed to so he advised us coming back in 5 weeks. He did say what he could see looked good. We were originally not going to do the repeat ultrasound, but something told me to. I just thought it would be a nice excuse to see our girl again. So, at 22 weeks, we went back. Matthew stayed with the little kids(I was babysitting) and I brought the older two to see their sister. She seemed to take an extremely long time, but I figured she was giving us a nice look at baby.  

When we got to our midwifes house, she sat us down right away and told us the scary news about our little girl. They found several things on the ultrasound that made her very sick. She found several of her abdominal organs up in her chest cavity, her heart pushed to the opposite side it should, and her lungs potentially squished as they grow. That told the ultrasound tech that she has a hole in her diaphragm. It's called a congenital diaphoretic hernia(CDH). Thankfully, as serious as it is, there is surgery she can have at birth to repair the hole. She also found something unusual in her brain, but couldn't pinpoint what. So, because of these abnormalities, it isn't safe to have her be born at home as she needs to be on a ventilator right away to help her breathe.  So with sad hearts we left our midwifes house for the last time. 

The next day, I called a good friend from the Phoenix area, whose husband was my doctor years ago and asked her if she or her husband knew of a high risk OB in the area. I explained the situation, she asked her husband, and recommended Phoenix Perineal Associates. I called and they didn't take my current insurance. Thankfully, as my birthday was coming up, I could switch to the one they took. So I then had to call and switch my insurance, but in the meantime I needed to be seen. One of the fabulous ladies from PPA recommended the Women's Institute at the university hospital as their doctors are there once a week to see patients. Unfortunately because it's also high risk, I needed a referral. So I called my midwife and asked her to fax them over with my prenatal records. What a crazy day that was! I heard nothing and called to check several times.  One of the ladies at PPA told me the university hospital also has an OB Triage, which is like an ER just for pregnant moms. She suggested I go there as a way in if I was having a hard time making an appointment. So that's what we did. 

We went in to the OB Triage and when I talked with the woman in admitting and told her my situation in trying to get an appointment, I showed her a copy of the ultrasound report my midwife gave me and a nurse told me that they wouldn't let me leave without being helped. I felt such relief!! I got an appointment for the following week on the day a PPA doctor would be in seeing patients as well as an ultrasound and we headed home. 

We both questioned and prayed about why this could happen to our family?  Well, this side of heaven we won't know the why's, but if God is using this time in our lives to bring us closer to Him and to teach us to trust Him, I definitely want to trust!! 

The ultrasound at the women's Institute showed what we already knew with her CDH, but the radiologist saw something a bit different on her brain. Something wasn't right. After the ultrasound, we spoke with the doctor for quite a while. He said they could do the surgery to repair her CDH, but the surgeon wouldn't do it until she had her chromosomes tested to see if what was abnormal about her brain was chromosomal or not. I could do an amniocentesis or wait until she's born and they could do bloodwork. We opted for the amniocentesis, but to wait until I am further along as the doctor mentioned a risk of my water breaking.  I made a follow up ultrasound to check her growth for a month later. 

This ultrasound showed much of the same so it didn't take as long. After this my new insurance kicked in so I transferred over to PPA. I had another ultrasound as well as a "new patient " exam. 

Nothing new in the ultrasound front except for my amniotic fluid levels increased even more.  I mentioned to the dr that came in during my ultrasound that I wanted to set up a time for an amniocentesis and she said, okay, we can do that right now!! I was surprised but ready to know. When you love your child, you will do anything for them. This is one of those things. It was the most painful torturous experiences I have ever had. But I did it for my baby. Before she started we talked about removing excess fluid, but when the time came, I was in too much pain so she didn't. 

The results came in two days later as promised and her DNA showed an extra chromosome #18. It is called Edwards Syndrome or more commonly known as Trisomy 18. We were given no hope and no options other than if we want to hold her she would just pass away at birth struggling to breathe and suffering.  If we want to spend time with her they would intubate her, but the doctor said we wouldn't get to hold her.  I found a support group the next day and saw many children with T18 that were not only several months old, but several YEARS old!! I finally saw hope.  Unfortunately, the doctors don't have the same hope. Because of her T18, the doctors assume she will not live long after birth.  None mentioned any possibility of her survival. Our next obstacle is meeting with the neonatal team at the hospital I plan to deliver her in and letting them know we want to have the surgeon plan on operating on her CDH, and after we have an appointment with the doctor from PPA and we plan on telling her what we plan then.  We are praying that the doctor and neonatal team at the hospital will be supportive as well as a surgeon that will take us seriously or even better a believer that knows that life is not in his/her hands, but the Lord's. 

To be continued as the pregnancy progresses and we welcome Claudia Joy Hall to our family...

Thank you for your prayers and support!! Please click here if you are led to help financially. 

Birth Story-take 3! Solomon

What a wild ride this has been!!  This pregnancy has been the fastest so far! The entire time I have felt that I was not as far along as I really was.  We were trying to get pregnant for several months.  During that time I started having problems getting strep throat.  I had never had it before and out of nowhere got it every other month for six months in a row(3 cases)!  I talked to my ear, nose, and throat doctor and he said that my tonsils needed to come out if I had strep throat three times in less than a year.  So he scheduled me to have them taken out in September.  I was glad to finally get them out after so many new problems, but still wanted to be pregnant.  I knew if I was pregnant the surgery would have to wait not only until after the baby was born but also after baby was done nursing.  So part of me really wanted to not be pregnant so I wouldn't have to deal with possibly getting strep a lot for the next up to 2 years or more.  I just decided the best thing to do was to trust God's plan for our family.  I chart my cycles so I knew on the day of the surgery that I wasn't pregnant even though I had to take a test at the surgery center.  Well, let me just say that surgery was torture!!  But that's a different story!  My mom came to town to help take care of the boys during my surgery and recovery.  She was a huge help as Matthew could only take off the day of surgery.  I was still charting my cycles even through the surgery.  So, I knew exactly when it happened.  I was babysitting a friend's kids for a date night and couldn't wait until morning so I tested.  It was positive!!  My throat was still sore from surgery and hadn't even had my post surgery follow-up!! 

Needless to say I was so excited!  I couldn't wait to tell Matthew but I figured not a good time with extra company.  So when their parents came to pick them up I had a plan.  Since it was pizza/movie night I got the movie What to Expect When You're Expecting and put it in.  And as Matthew grows out a goatee when I'm not pregnant I had my oldest son bring him his razor to get to shave it.  Well, it took a bit for it to click.  He saw Josiah with the razor and got scared (who wouldn't be scared seeing a three year old with a sharp object), but when I played the movie and he saw the title, he knew. He was shocked but so excited!!   And since my mom was there we got to tell her in person!!  Josiah told her that mommy had a baby in her tummy.  She said the same thing she said for the other two pregnancies, "are you serious?" It was so much fun!

This pregnancy was so much different from the other two.  I had no initial early symptoms like I did with Josiah and Titus.  If I hadn't been charting I wouldn't have known right away.  I was so happy that I didn't have any of the fatigue and nausea that I had with my first two pregnancies.  Well, that was short lived.  I wasn't as tired as I was the first two times, but I was more than usual.  I wasn't nauseous, but for several weeks I threw up once every morning.  Mostly when brushing my teeth as my gag reflex is very sensitive anyway and especially when pregnant. 

I didn't exercise as much as I did during Titus' pregnancy, but after the first trimester exhaustion I did start back up. By the end of the pregnancy I was down to mostly walking.  I carried Solomon much more lower and out front than his older brothers so that made for adjustments in my workouts as well as from my chiropractor!! (haha) I had only a little heartburn even though he sported a nice head of light red hair.  I chalk it up to much better nutrition and being overall healthier this time around.

Now to the part you've all been waiting for, the labor and delivery details. I knew I would have Solomon pretty close to his due date as Josiah and Titus were born very close.  I was just hoping it wouldn't be very long after his due date.  On the day he was due, a Sunday, I was feeling so ready for him to come, but still pretty good, so I readied for church.  The day didn't feel any different.  I ate some sugar free chocolate in the afternoon between services.  sometimes it doesn't digest well so I was preparing for the consequences of my splurge.  Mostly I have a lot of gas(sorry, TMI).  My first contraction hit during evening service at church about 6:30.  I thought it was from gas as it hurts sometimes.  I knew I would feel better in the morning as I normally do.  After church we went right home since I was feeling so bad.  We made supper and I ate it just fine.  I had to stop for the contractions every so often, although nothing regular.  I still thought they were gas pains.  I think if I had skipped the chocolates I would have realized it was labor.  The pains were very different from the older boys.  Their labors were tightening all over my tummy easily timeable.  Solomon's was very sharp in my lower abdomen and back(back labor anyone?) and when I tried timing it to verify whether it was labor or not it was all over the map.  One would be seven minutes the next would be fifteen.  Not at all a regular pattern.  I texted my midwife just to ask about what I should do.  I thoroughly confused her.  She suggested I take a bath.  It did not work which added to my thinking it wasn't labor as the bath I took with Titus' labor helped immensely.  I got out of the tub and got my pjs on and tried to rest.  Close to ten o'clock I realized it was labor as I finally started noticing the pains getting stronger and more frequent.  That is when I asked the midwife to come.  Pretty soon I was in so much pain and I knew the midwife wasn't going to make it so I asked my mom to call my friend who is also my childbirth instructor as well as a doula and has used the same midwife for all four of her births.  She asked my mom if I was pushing and she said no.  She hung up with my friend when I had another contraction.  I was having to get on my hand and knees to get relief from the pain so I got on my hands and knees and cried as my mom was rubbing my back to help when felt my water break.  I asked my mom and hubby to help me pull my pjs and panties down and told them he coming now!! I pushed and out his head came.  Hubby cradled his head. I made sure to tell them not to pull on his head.  I felt another contraction come to push and out more came.  The last push and he was born!!  Still on my hands and knees I checked the time which was 10:39.  I still had the placenta inside and it was still attached to Solomon so I awkwardly turned around to sit on the space carpet so I could hold my baby.  He did cry so I knew he was alright and just held him in awe and shock of everything.  My friend came in a few minutes later shocked to see baby already here!!  She helped me as I delivered the placenta and started nursing baby.  She called the midwife who asked if I wanted her to come.  I did want her to come to check over baby and make sure I was okay.  I felt better having her come and check us over.  

Things are going great so far.  The first month was rough as he wouldn't sleep unless he was being held and upright.  I struggled with some depression and the shock of his quick and sudden birth took a few weeks to wear off.  Now he's a happy smiley twelve week old who sleeps much better and loves his brothers.  God has really blessed our family and I am excited to see what God has in store for each one of my boys.

We're Climbing the Ladder!

About two months ago Matthew and I set a goal.  We have a big project to pay for, the birth fee to be able to have baby #3 at home. So far the postings on Craig's List haven't panned out.  We had a garage sale in April that gave us some but nothing substantial.  However, God is an amazing God and much bigger than we can imagine.  I started babysitting a baby a few months ago a few days a week.  That has definitely helped.  Now, starting today I am babysitting a toddler five days a week for the next six weeks!!  Even though it's just temporary the timing could be more God orchestrated!!  He's a few weeks younger than Titus but the size of Josiah!!  He's adjusting very well for it only being his first day.  With the income to help, we are kicking in about half from our taxes(we really didn't want to pay the midwife directly with all tax refund money), the midwife will be able to be paid in full by the time I'm 36 weeks!!  What a huge blessing and a load off our shoulders!!  Two months ago I wasn't even sure we were going to be able to have him at home, but God isn't good, he's great!!(To quote Tony the Tiger) We are going to have a garage sale the first Saturday in May just to have a little extra for the birth kit we need to buy soon as well as a non insurance covered third trimester blood test.  It's so exciting to be able to trust God in times of uncertainty and then praise Him when He answers our prayer and takes care of us!!  Stay tuned for more updates on Baby #3!!

Almost There!!

This time around time is flying! It seems that I blinked and now I'm almost 30 weeks pregnant.  He's moving around quite a bit, but in specific times so maybe that means Mamma gets a break when he's born and he will be an easy baby??  We'll see about that!!  I am really enjoying this pregnancy so far.  Now that I'm in the final stretch of Third Trimesterdom I'm feeling the end is in sight and looking forward to holding him in my arms.

I may be crazy but I'm actually looking forward to the last several weeks of pregnancy too.  Once I turned 36 weeks with Titus I started exercising more intensely and even did jumping jacks and a bit of jogging! Now while I may not go to that extreme to encourage baby to come I really want to "step up my game" so to speak.  Even though in retrospect I'm glad he didn't come when I wanted him to I sure was fit and in shape to help prepare my body for the physical demands of labor!  So come 36 weeks I will be amping up my workouts and pushing myself just a little more because the end game is so worth it! And if it actually does bring baby early as long as he's ready then GREAT!!  I felt so good after Titus' birth and recovered so much better that I will do it again!! Bring on the next 6 weeks!!